You don’t have to be your team’s therapist, but showing you care by guiding a struggling employee to support through their EAP can prevent issues from escalating down the road.
Compartmentalizing by leaving your personal life at the door and clocking into your professional persona at work is an intriguing idea, but let’s face it—it’s unrealistic. We are the sum of all our parts, and both the positives and negatives of our personal lives influence our work. While we can draw support, resilience, and creativity from our experiences, stress from our private lives can ripple into our jobs, affecting performance and interactions.
As a manager, you have a unique vantage point to notice when something’s off with your team members. By guiding a struggling employee to the Employee Assistance Program (EAP), you provide a pathway for them to receive support before personal stress escalates into professional problems.
So, how do you empathetically refer an employee to the support available through the EAP without overstepping boundaries, especially when their performance hasn’t warranted intervention—yet?
Recognizing Early Signs
We’ve all been there—juggling personal stress while trying to maintain professional responsibilities.
Whether it’s planning a wedding, dealing with a child’s issues at school, or managing financial worries, stress can show up in various ways. Employees might self-isolate and avoid co-workers, leading to lost opportunities for collaboration. Their mental capacity might be stretched thin, causing projects to take longer and resulting in mistakes. They might hold back from speaking up or sharing ideas, or lack the energy and focus necessary for critical or creative projects.
Personal Problems are Following Your Employees to Work
Discussing personal problems at work, especially with a manager, is often the last thing on an employee’s mind. They may worry that vulnerability will change your perception of their abilities and competencies, impacting their chances for advancement, promotions, and important projects.
Yet evidence shows that it’s high time we toss out the notion that personal challenges should be swept under a rug and addressed off the clock—because they’re already infiltrating the workplace. Research indicates that over five hours of work per week are lost to employees thinking about their stressors, and almost 40% of absences are caused by repeated personal issues, such as a single parent managing a difficult co-parenting relationship.
Proactive EAP Referral Prevents Escalation
As a leader, you can spot changes to your team members’ mood and behavior early and provide a gentle nudge towards support. While you may wonder, “Why should I mention anything if their work isn’t suffering?” the reason is two-fold:
1. Prevention over reaction
Bringing up personal concerns can feel awkward, but it’s far less uncomfortable than addressing issues when a performance plan or punitive action is needed, or when an employee takes a sudden leave of absence or quits. Proactivity is invaluable; addressing issues before they escalate prevents bigger problems down the road.
2. Demonstrating care and empathy
Showing that you care about your team members as individuals fosters a sense of value and safety. This encourages them to ask for what they need to do their best work. When employees feel cared for as human beings beyond their job titles, the result is improved collaboration, creativity, safety, and retention.
“improving employee well-being isn’t just an exercise in altruism. Employers who care for employee health and well-being see numerous measurable benefits, from higher productivity and profitability to lower turnover and fewer safety incidents.” Gallup, What is Employee Wellbeing? And Why Does it Matter?
Making a Proactive EAP Referral
Approaching a conversation with a direct report when you suspect they are struggling doesn’t have to be awkward. Remember, your job isn’t to diagnose or be a therapist. Your job is simply to let people know that you’ve noticed and that you care.
1. Choose the right setting
- Ensure the conversation takes place in a private, comfortable place.
- Approach the situation calmly and empathetically.
- Choose a moment during downtime, such as a routine one-on-one meeting.
2. Start the conversation
- Express Caring Concern Based on Observations: Make it clear your intention is to help. Use specific examples of changes you’ve noticed without analyzing or making assumptions.
- Use “I” Statements: This helps avoid sounding accusatory. For example, “I’ve noticed you seem overwhelmed lately. You’ve been uncharacteristically quiet during meetings and made errors in our routine report that are unusual for you. I wanted to check in and see how I can support you.”
- Avoid Pressing for Details: Listen and be patient, allowing them to share as much or as little as they want.
3. Making the referral
- Explain the EAP Benefits: You don’t need to know the specific details of an employee’s circumstances to share the resources available through their EAP. Explain what the EAP benefits are, emphasizing they are available to help with personal or professional challenges.
- Emphasize Confidentiality: Reassure them that their EAP use is strictly confidential – the details of who, when, and why they accessed services are protected information.
- Encourage Usage: Share that many employees have found it helpful to talk to someone through the EAP. If appropriate, share your personal experience using the EAP.
Togetherall is an easy access point to the EAP
Taking the first step to reach out for support through your EAP can be intimidating. But did you know you and your team members have access to Togetherall through our EAP?
Togetherall is an online, peer-to-peer support platform that makes accessing help easy. It’s confidential, available 24/7, and completely self-guided, offering a welcoming and supportive entry point to EAP services
4. Addressing Hesitancy
Employees might be reluctant to use the EAP for various reasons:
- Fear of stigma: Reassure them about the EAP’s confidentiality protections.
- Uncertainty about the process: Explain how to access the benefits step by step.
- Belief their problems aren’t “big enough”: Share success stories or positive feedback to help normalize seeking help for everyday stress and anxiety. Remind them that many employees have found it helpful to talk to someone through the EAP. If appropriate, share your personal experiences.
- Emphasize confidentiality: Reassure them that their EAP use is strictly confidential – the details of who, when, and why they accessed services are protected information.
5. Following Up
- Simple Check-Ins: Follow up with questions like, “How are you doing with everything we talked about?” to demonstrate care and offer the opportunity for dialogue.
- Respect Privacy: Don’t press for details unless the employee brings it up. Following up helps ensure the employee is accessing the help they need without being intrusive.
As a leader, you have the unique opportunity to support your team proactively. By recognizing the early signs of struggle, approaching the conversation with empathy, and making a supportive referral to the EAP, you can help your employees manage life’s challenges to maintain their well-being and perform their best on the job— and in life.
