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Self-Love: Your Most Important Relationship

Feb 2, 2021 | Uncategorized

What is your relationship status with yourself?

It’s the time of year when Cupid releases an arsenal of arrows aimed at our hearts, enamoring us with the idea of sharing a close bond with a significant other. With so much focus on our romantic relationships, have you taken time to focus on your most important relationship- the one with yourself?

Your relationship with yourself is forever

Take a moment to imagine you’re in a relationship with someone you don’t love, don’t think is good enough, and view as worthless. Now imagine this relationship is one you will actively be in for your entire life. How would this impact what you think, how you feel, and what you do on a day-to-day basis?

Your relationships with others are temporary- you grow apart, move away, and eventually pass away, but your relationship with yourself is guaranteed every day. There is no breaking up, separating, or ghosting yourself – you are with you for the long haul! Your relationship with yourself is one of the most important. Like any relationship, it takes work. Practicing self-love helps this relationship blossom.

What does ‘self-love’ mean?

Self-love is the acceptance of ourselves for who we truly are- all our faults, failures, strengths, and talents.

Accepting yourself doesn’t mean you agree with every aspect of yourself and cease striving to improve, but instead you’re able to acknowledge your weaknesses without shame or judgment.

When you embrace every facet of your being, you recognize you possess inherent value that can’t be tarnished or taken away. This allows you to consistently stay strong and secure in yourself through the unpredictable ups-and-downs of life.

Conversely, if you derive your self-worth from external accomplishments or the praise of others, you place yourself on a roller coaster ride. You’re left continuously chasing the temporary highs of compliments and success and plummeting to new lows when you inevitably make mistakes. Your self-worth is tied to and teeter-totters on the myth of perfectionism.

Shaping your self-image

As you grow up, your self-image is molded by your experiences and relationships with parents, peers, and others. You begin to learn who you are by using the way others treat and interact with you as a mirror that reflects your value and worth.

For example, imagine you are meeting a new work colleague for the first time. During your interaction, your colleague doesn’t maintain eye contact and leaves the conversation quickly. This nonverbal feedback may lead you to conclude that you are unlikeable or uninteresting.

Don’t outsource your self-image to others

Interactions and relationships like this reinforce the beliefs you hold about ourselves. You must recognize the power these outside influences have in shaping your sense of self and understand these reflections are not necessarily true or accurate.

By holding onto an image of self that revolves around your belief of how others view you, you give away significant control of your well-being. It’s easy to give more weight to criticisms and failures, distorting your self-image and damaging your self-worth.

How to practice self-love

By practicing self-love, you can improve your self-image into something more accurate and realistic. Here are a few steps you can take to begin working on your relationship with yourself:

Care for your physical self

Healthy habits form the foundation of self-care. Staying connected and tending to your body’s cues reinforces the fact that you are important and worthy of care. Make sure you’re practicing good sleep habits, nourishing your body with healthy foods, staying active, and taking time to relax. This builds trust with yourself over time- rather than feeling let down your treatment of yourself, you feel confident knowing what your body needs and how to care for it.

Be kind to yourself

You talk to yourself more than you talk to anyone else- make sure you’re setting the right tone during these internal conversations. While it’s important to be honest and take responsibility for your mistakes, being overly-critical and judgmental undermines your self-worth.

A good question to ask yourself is “Would I allow others to talk to me the way I talk to myself?”

Understand that you don’t need to accept the inner critic that compares you to others and evaluates your every move- many times this inner critic was shaped during painful experiences in childhood. Recognize the origin of these overly-critical thoughts and differentiate them from your true thoughts, feelings, and values.

Take time for joy

Add meaning to your life by participating in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Instead of aligning yourself with society’s view of success, focus on finding what makes you feel accomplished and satisfied. Look for activities or interests that feel meaningful to you personally- many find volunteering has a positive effect on their self-worth.

From coffee to soda to energy drinks, caffeine is a part of daily life for many of us. And while it is naturally occurring, overconsumption can cause health problems such as increased blood pressure, heart palpitations, anxiety, headaches, and insomnia. For this blog, we sat down with Susie Roberts, a Registered Dietitian to discuss all things caffeine—why it’s such a big part of our lives, how much of it is in the food items many people enjoy regularly, and how much is too much. We’ll also talk about current trends and tips on how to boost your energy naturally so you can stop relying on caffeine to keep you energized throughout the day.

Q: Just this morning, I heard someone say “I’m not caffeinated enough for this day!” It really is such a big part of our daily lives. Why do you think that is?
A: It’s not surprising at all to hear that! About 90% of American adults consume caffeine daily. People are looking for ways to boost their energy and increase alertness and caffeine is readily available and socially acceptable.

Q: So, what exactly is caffeine, and how does it work?
A: Caffeine is a natural stimulant that affects the central nervous system. After consumption, it’s absorbed into the bloodstream and travels to the brain, where it blocks the effects of adenosine—a chemical that promotes sleep. This interference helps you feel more alert and awake.

Caffeine typically reaches your brain within 15 minutes, peaks in the bloodstream at 30 to 120 minutes, and has a half-life of 3 to 7 hours.

Q: Everyone knows that coffee and many soft drinks contain caffeine. But where else can it be found? If we are consuming these beverages and other items, how can we know the amount of caffeine we are getting?
A: Energy drinks have become very popular—especially among young adults. These contain not only caffeine, but may also have added sugars, so it’s a double whammy. Chocolate and many varieties of tea also contain caffeine. You may also want to check out any nutrition supplements or medications you are taking. And, many people may not realize it, but even decaf coffee contains a certain amount of caffeine.

How Much Caffeine Am I Really Getting

Q: How much is too much when it comes to caffeine?
A: For most healthy adults, the FDA says up to 400 mg per day is safe. That’s about 4 cups of coffee. But you need to remember, that’s based on an 8 oz cup. Many people order an extra-large coffee, so you need to be aware of exactly how much you are taking in. Each individual reacts differently to caffeine based on their genetics, medications, and sleep habits.

How Much Is Too Much? Make Sure You Know Your Limits.

Q: What are the current trends in caffeine consumption?
A: As I mentioned before, energy drinks are increasing in popularity. They haven’t taken over coffee in the top spot, but Americans spent $19.2 billion on them in 2023 and that’s expected to rise to $33 billion by 2030. Coffee remains at the top, accounting for 69% of total caffeine intake, an increase of 15% in the last decade. And while the number of tea drinkers has dropped by 50%, those who drink it are consuming more.

Current Caffeine Consumption Trends.

Q: How can I be more aware about the amount of caffeine I’m getting?
A: Mindful consumption of caffeine is being intentional about what, when, and how much you consume. Track your intake and pay attention to any potential unwanted side effects like jitters or difficulty getting to sleep or staying asleep. Are you sleeping 6-8 hours a night and waking refreshed? If not, consider a “hard stop” 10 hours before your bedtime. Remember, that cup of coffee you had at 8 am can potentially still be in your system at 5 pm, so it’s important to time it right. And finally, if you decide you want to reduce your caffeine consumption, do it slowly to minimize any withdrawal symptoms such as headaches.

Be Mindful of Your Caffeine Consumption.

Q: Sometimes though, you need extra energy when you hit that afternoon slump. Can you suggest any alternative ways to get that boost and avoid turning to caffeine?
A: There are a few simple ways you can get that energy boost. First, make sure you are hydrated. Water supports joint health, oxygen delivery, temperature regulation, skin health, and more. You also want to move—even a short walk or stretch break can help. Make sure your meals are balanced with a protein and complex carbs. And most importantly, rest and recover. Sometimes rest—not more coffee—is what your body needs.

How Can I Boost My Energy Naturally.

Q: So, what are your final thoughts on caffeine?
A:  Caffeine can be part of a healthy lifestyle and may even offer some health benefits—but it’s all about balance and awareness. If you’re reaching for that third cup of coffee at 3 pm, pause and ask: Am I actually tired, hungry, or just in a habit? And then give one of the things we talked about a try, to get that energy boost naturally and see if that caffeine craving goes away.

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